After Jamie
by C.Halliwell
Summary: Four years on Landon's a doctor and then one day during his first operation Jamie appears before him...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"She's gone into cardiac arrest and bleeding internally." The male nurse next to Landon Carter announced. Landon's heart was racing and he was beginning to sweat. It was his first operation with him doing the surgery not just observing. The actual surgeon was ill so Landon newly qualified had to take over.

Landon was frozen. This was not supposed to happen. These types of operations were basic, yet he was suddenly terrified. He was faintly aware of the seconds slipping by. The male nurse said loudly, "Doctor Carter, he's arrested and bleeding."

Landon looked up and blinked. _You can do it._ He heard. "What?" he whispered. _You can do it Landon, have faith._

_Jamie?_ Landon thought. _Is that you?_

_Yeah,_ she replied. _Four years have passed and you haven't forgotten me._

_I think about you every day,_ he thought. _But why have you come now?_

_This patient is dying Landon, it's his time._

_I have to save him, Jamie it's what I do as a doctor –_

_I know that but you let me go, so let him go._

_You were different. _He thought.

_How? Because we were in love?_

_I'm still in love with you only I can't see you. But I can see you in my dreams. _He could almost sense her smiling.

_You have to decide, Landon, but God's expecting him._

_Jamie – _he looked up, seeing another movement. For a split second he saw her. Jamie. She had not been solid of course, but she had been there. And then she was gone.

"Doctor!" the nurse said loudly. "We need to charge!"

"Have you asked the family? Did his file read DNR?"

"I – I'm not sure -"

"Well then get someone to check!" Landon told him.

The nurse sped out the room. The other nurses were looking at him curiously. Landon ignored them. Thirty seconds later the nurse returned, looking embarrassed. "He has no next of kin and his file does read DNR."

Landon nodded at this and glanced at his watch. "Time of death, 5.50pm. he switched off the monitors and started the stitching. The nurse hovered behind him. "A piece of friendly advice," Landon said. "Breathing down a doctor's neck in surgery is distracting whether the patient is alive." The nurse nodded and rushed out of the operating theatre.

Half an hour later Landon's shift was over and he was sitting in his car, engine running, but the handbrake still on. He was resting his head in his hands and looked up when there was a knock on the window. He wound it down. "Landon, hi," It was a fellow doctor of his and she waved. "Hi Rose." Landon replied vaguely.

"Want to go for a drink?" she asked. "Coffee?"

"Uh, sorry," he said, trying to say it meaningfully. "I have paper work to catch up on."

"Oh," she said, trying not to sound too disappointed. He had the feeling she had a crush but wasn't in the mood for flirting. He had not been in the mood for four years since Jamie died. "Never mind. Another time maybe. See you around Carter." And she walked off. She shook back her long dark brown hair as she got into her car and drove off. He remained where he was but then pushed down the handbrake and pulled out, driving home. He lived in a medium sized modern apartment, just on the edge of town. The drive felt like forever but when he looked at the car clock it had only taken him fifteen minutes. He sighed when he turned into the drive and stopped the car. He got out, taking his briefcase with him. He was in such a daze from earlier it took him longer than usual to put his key in the lock. He climbed the stairs, shutting the door quietly behind him. When he got into his apartment he slumped down onto his extremely comfortable, sky blue sofa with dark blue cushions. Landon's gaze fell onto a photo in a white photo frame of him and Jamie at age seventeen, their age when she died. She still looked healthy and as beautiful as ever, sitting next to him at the park. His head was rested on hers, his arm around her. They both looked happy. That year when he had fallen in love with her was the happiest he had felt in his life. Next to that photo frame was another of their wedding. Jamie in her wedding dress, holding her bouquet of flowers, holding hands with himself in his suit. His father was standing next to him, hers on the other side. They all looked happy.

"Jamie," Landon said quietly. "Are you there?"

A cushion flew off the sofa next to a book case at the other end of the room. He took that as a yes. "Can you let me see you?" A moment after he asked, Jamie appeared before him, in colour, but translucent. She was in a white gown and looked like an angel. She knelt before him. "Landon," she said, her voice echoing. Apart from the echo it sounded like her. "I can't stay for too long, it drains my energy. But I'm here now."

"I've missed you," Landon said sadly. He reached to touch her hand but his own went straight through. She looked down sadly, wishing she could hold his. Landon's hand went cold as his hand passed through. He withdrew it and gazed into her face. "You look like an angel. Like that night at the school play."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you for letting the patient go today."

"I still have faith in your guidance," he told her.

"God is thankful to you."

"Tell Him anytime," Landon said seriously. "You helped me believe in Him. I always knew you watched over me. I could feel it."

"I'm glad," she said. "Listen, one of the reasons I was sent down was not only to help you and renew your faith but was to warn you."

"What? What's wrong?" he asked.

"Trials and suffering are coming, but you have to pull through."

"I've already been put through trials and suffering. Jamie, that's not fair -"

"Landon, you have to go through this, it's part of life." She insisted. At the look on his face she said, "Do it for me."

"Who will die?" he swallowed.

"It's a way to test your faith. No matter what do not give up, everything will be fine if you believe it will."

Landon was about to speak, but she said. "I have to go,"

"I love you," Landon said, he reached out to touch her again, but then remembered he wouldn't be able to.

"I'll be watching. Don't give up…"

Landon watched painfully as she faded away. "Anything for you," he whispered and did not hold back the tears, burying his head in a cushion.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The doorbell rang but he did not get up. It rang again, twice in quick succession. "Landon?" a voice called from outside the door. "Are you in there?"

He realised whose voice it was. It was Rose's. She had a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Landon didn't bother getting up. He would just pretend he wasn't in and she'd leave. Only she didn't. She stayed at the front door for minutes, Landon all the while crying silently. Why couldn't everyone just leave him be for the moment? When she hadn't left in fifteen minutes he decided to wipe his eyes and answer the door. He hurried quietly into the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water. He reached for a towel to dry his face and walked across the hall to the door. He unlocked it and she immediately came in. "I was worried sick!" she exclaimed. "I was about to call an ambulance or something!" she went into the living room and put her shopping bags down on the sofa. She turned to him holding a bottle of wine. Landon used one hand to rub his eyes. He was tired. "Oh, Landon were you asleep?"

He shook his head. "I was talking to… my wife on… the phone." He sighed. "She's been away for a while. This was the first time I've spoken to her in a long time."

"Oh." She said. She put the wine back into the bag and picked it up. "No!" Landon said quickly. "You don't have to go,"

"No, no that's ok, you're dwelling. I don't want to intrude on that."

"You're not," he told her. "Stay. Please, sit." He said, gesturing to the sofa. She sat down slowly, and he followed suit, casually flipping over the damp cushion.

"So…" she said. "How are you? Really?"

He gave her a small smile. "I'm good. You?"

"Good. Um, do you mind me asking… how long has your wife been away from?"

"Four years," Landon told her simply. "I miss her."

"Why don't you go visit her?" Rose asked.

"I can't," Landon said. "That was part of the deal and it has to remain that way, there's nothing I can do. I can't see her in person but I'm allowed to talk to her."

"She isn't in jail is she?"

Landon burst out laughing despite himself. "No. No, no, no."

"The where is she?"

"Honestly," Landon said quietly. "I'm not sure. But I do know that where ever she is right now she's happy."

"Are you happy?" Rose asked him.

Landon shrugged. "I'm surviving. Though I wish every day I could be with her."

"You could take them to court," she suggested.

"Oh, no." he said. "I would never win. I can wish and wish but one day I will be with her again. I love her with all my heart."

Rose pointed to the picture of Landon at the park with Jamie. "Is that her?"

"Jamie," Landon said. "Yeah that's her. Us at seventeen. The year we fell in love." He smiled at the memories. "I was ah… one of the high school bad boys. In with the wrong crowd. I had to help tutor kids and take part in the school play. It just so happened that Jamie Sullivan, the Reverend's daughter who we took the piss out of was another main character. I needed help with my lines. I began to enjoy her company. When I asked her for help, I remember she said, "On one condition. Don't fall in love with me." And I said, "Like that'll happen." But I did. And then a few months later we got married." He picked up the wedding picture and showed it to Jackie.

"She's beautiful. I can see how you fell in love with her."

"It was like, suddenly I saw who she really was inside. I thought I knew but I was wrong. I thought she was the religious girl with no friends who sat at lunch table seven," he paused. "She carried around a Bible. I remember I asked her father permission to take her on our first date. Lucky for me he said yes. And before she went she gave me a book that belonged to her mother. We used to read it together. And then a while after the wedding she was gone. She had faith in me. Jamie saved my life."

"Wow." Rose said. "I wish I had a boyfriend as nice as you in high school."

The phone rang. "Sorry," Landon apologised. "I should get that." He stood up slowly and walked to the phone by the TV. He took it off the cradle and answered it. "Hello?"

"Is this Dr. Landon Carter?"

"Yes, who's speaking?" Landon asked.

"This is Connie Marshall; I'm a chief consultant at the district hospital."

Landon stood up straighter. "What's happened?"

"It's your father, could you come soon?"

"Uh, yeah, but what happened?"

"It will be easier to talk face-to-face." She said shortly.

"Is he critical?"

"I'm afraid so, he's asking for you."

"I'll come now," Landon said. "Thanks for calling." He hung up. "I've got to go to the hospital," he told Rose.

"Do you want me to come?" Rose offered.

"If you're up to it," Landon said, grabbing his jacket, and pocketing his keys. "Come on then," he ran out the door, her in pursuit after he shut the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Landon didn't bother to ask the main desk where Consultant Connie Marshall was, but headed straight for intensive care. It was only at that reception that he asked where she was. Before the receptionist could look, Connie Marshall came out a back office. She shook his hand. She had long black hair, pale skin, and glasses covering big hazel eyes. "Dr. Carter," she said. "Come through."

"I'll wait outside," Rose whispered. Landon nodded and followed Connie into her office. "As I told you on the phone your father is critical. He was in a car accident. A hit and run."

"A hit and run?" Landon echoed.

"He's had an extreme trauma. I have to tell you he's bleeding internally. The prospect's black."

"No," Landon whispered, eyes beginning to water. "This can't happen. I can't lose someone else I love so much. Not my dad." He swallowed hard, which brought on tears. "Can I see him?"

"Of course," Connie said. "Go through." She remained where she was as he walked out, wiping his eyes. He pushed open the double doors and saw his dad immediately. As Landon approached he saw his dads eyes were closed. He was breathing slowly, and he was attached to a heart monitor. There was a drip connected to his arm, blood slowly seeping into the bag. He was pale.

Landon pulled up a chair and sat down lightly. He held his dads hand. "Dad?" he whispered. His father stirred and opened his eyes slightly and blinked slowly in recognition. "Landon," he breathed.

"I'm here," Landon said, trying to hold back the tears. "You're going to be alright, okay?" He gave up holding them in and let it all out.

Rose watched from the window. Landon's back was to her but she saw his shoulders bent, shaking. She could sense his sadness and grief. She knew these things. It was a gift.

"Don't cry," his dad murmured, wincing in pain.

"Are they treating you properly dad?" Landon asked after wiping his eyes with a tissue.

"Fine," his dad replied quietly.

"I'm, er… being a bit emotional at the moment. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Mr Carter said weakly. "It's nice not having to worry about me for a while."

Landon held his dad's hand and looked down at the needle sticking out of it.

"Tell your old dad what's wrong? Woman trouble?" he asked pointing to the window, where Rose was standing.

"No," Landon said. "Well, not exactly her."

His dad gave him a questioning look.

"It's about Jamie,"

"Oh." His dad said. "Go on."

"This afternoon, during an operation… my first… the patient arrested. I froze. And then there she was. My Jamie. Only I couldn't see her. She spoke to me, she said it was the patients time and I was to let him go. I knew it was her, dad…" and then suddenly Landon was admitting the whole story to his dad. "She warned me someone was gonna get hurt soon and only I can save that person if I have faith."

His dad gave him the I'm-worried-about-you look. "Listen, dad, you've gotta believe me!"

"I do, son, it's just a little…" he searched for the right words. "Un-nerving."

Landon sighed and scratched his ruffled hair. "I need to have faith dad, and you have to have faith in me, 'k?"

His dad coughed and Landon grabbed a tissue to cover his dad's mouth. When he took it, it had blood on it.

"Water," Mr Carter croaked. Landon reached around for a cup of water and handed it to his dad.

"Nurse!" Landon called. A nurse from across the room came over and Landon showed him the tissue. He did a double take. It was the nurse from earlier in surgery.

"And this just happened Dr Carter?" he asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"I'll go get the consultant." And he hurried off.

"Don't worry, but have faith in me." Landon told his dad.

Mr Carter gripped his son's hand. "I do kiddo, I do. Just don't give up, fight for me. I need more time in this life." He was struggling to speak now.

"Dad, hang on, all right? I need you, now that mum and Jamie are gone."

"They're not gone Landon, they're here with us all the time." His eyes shut.

"No." Landon sobbed, standing up. "NO!"

Rose came running in and held Landon in her arms as he cried. He was watching the Doctors and nurses running round his dad. Connie Marshall looked at him. "We're taking your father to theatre now, Doctor," she said. Landon nodded, releasing Rose he went back to his dad and held his hand. He followed his dad's trolley to the operation doors and just before letting him go the trolley stopped quickly. Connie said from behind him. "I would say goodbye now." Landon nodded. He bent down and kissed his dad on the forehead and then whispered in his ear. "I've got faith. I won't give up on you. You're gonna come through this, and before you know it you'll be waking up with me at your side." Landon stood up straight and released his dad's hand. He nodded to Connie that he was finished. She and the others took the bars of the trolley and went through the double doors. Landon looked up at the ceiling and pressed his hands together. He closed his eyes. _Please let him come through this_

_You're doing good, _he heard in his head._ Keep going._

_I won't give up. I have faith in him and the surgeons._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Landon thought he had waited forever for them to come through the doors. He waited outside on a plastic bench fixed to wall, Rose by his side. He looked at his watch. It was eleven o' clock. They had been in theatre for four hours.

"Do you want me to get you a coffee?" Rose asked quietly.

"Uh, yeah, thanks." He got out his wallet and took out some money. Enough for two coffees. She took it and stood up. She said, "See you soon." And walked to the lift, disappearing from sight a second later.

Ten minutes later Rose had still not returned but the double doors opened and Landon jumped to his feet. Connie came out. He could not read her expression. "What's happened?"

"He made it," she told him. "But he arrested once we opened him up."

"And?" he asked anxiously.

"Like I said he made it through but he's still got to rest for a long time."

"So… he'll live?"

"We'll have to keep him in for a few weeks for observation, so that's the most crucial thing. But I'm afraid he can't go into theatre again. We've done all we can for him. Have faith." She said. Connie rested her hand on his arm, briefly in a supporting way and then walked off down the corridor to the lifts. Just as the doors closed on hers, the lift's next to it opened and Rose came out with two steaming coffees.

"What's happened?" she asked.

"He made it, but they have to keep an eye on him."

"Well… that's good, right? He'll be okay?"

Landon shrugged. "You should go home," he told her. "It's late. I want to stay with him."

"He won't wake up for hours, Landon." Rose told him. "You should make your own way home too." She put the coffees down on the table. He pointed to them "They should go In the bin -"

"The cleaners will do it." She said.

"Come back to mine," he said. "You have further to drive."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay then." They started walking to the lifts and didn't talk until they reached their cars. "I'll follow," she said. They both ducked into their cars and drove off.

Landon unlocked his front door and threw the keys on the table. Rose followed and turned to shut the door behind them. When she turned around Landon was right in front of her. She looked up at him. He couldn't stop himself and kissed her passionately. She pulled away. "Landon -" she said breathlessly. He put his finger over her mouth. "We shouldn't -"

"I want to." He breathed. She hesitated and then gave in to his seductions. They stood there and kissed and then he took her hand and led her to his bedroom. He lowered her onto the bed and himself on top. They were both breathing quickly. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw it over his head. She pulled off her t-shirt, both their hearts pounding. He pulled off his trousers, and Rose her skirt. They started kissing again; neither speaking as they pulled the covers over themselves…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The sunrise seeping through the blinds woke Rose up. She had herself resting on Landon's bare arm, the sheets, over them. She looked up at him, fast asleep. He had been through a lot. She didn't know whether to feel bad about last night but then she supposed he had needed something to distract him. And besides, she had liked him for ages and he knew that. Also he had made the first move; but then again he had been vulnerable then. She reflected on last night. It had been great. The most intimate she'd ever had.

Landon opened his eyes and saw Rose was awake. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi," she replied. "About last night -"

"I don't regret doing what we did," he told her. "Do you?"

She paused. "I don't know, Landon, I really don't know…"

"I'll make us breakfast," Landon said. "Shower's in there." He put on his jeans and got out of bed, then headed for the kitchen. Rose sighed and threw the covers off of her. The shower was steaming hot but she wasn't in for long. Once she'd gotten dressed she went down the hall to the kitchen and saw Landon leaning against the work surface. He had not so much as taken out a plate. She approached silently and saw his eyes were closed. She switched on the kettle and got out a mug. "Where are the teabags?" she asked.

Landon opened his eyes and breathed in. He pointed to a cupboard. "In there," he said. "I'll get it." When he put the tin down in front of her he said, "You didn't give me an answer before." Rose looked up at him and lent towards him, stretching out her arm, as if to hold him. He bent a little too but then stood up properly when he realised she was turning the light on from behind him. She stepped back.

"No," Rose said finally. "No I don't have any regrets."

"Maybe we could do it again sometime," Landon said.

"I'd like that." Rose nodded. "Why don't I make the breakfast? Fancy a fry up?"

"Yeah, I'm starving. When d'you learn to make a fry up?"

"Oh a few years ago," she said casually. "My brother taught me."

"Ah, that's something I didn't know about you," Landon said. "So. Tell me. Did you have any rivals at high school?"

Rose drew in a breath and then replied. "I don't think so, I mean there was nothing they could put against me. I hate to admit it, but I was a bit of a goody-two-shoes."

"Really? I pictured you as a, ah… rebel."

Rose laughed. "How?"

"Well, the way you talk; how you dress -"

"Do you have problems with what I wear?" she asked, with a mock hurt tone.

"Absolutely not. You look great," he complimented. Rose got out the frying pan and oil with the bacon, eggs and bread.

"Maybe I should leave you to it," Landon said. "I'll just go have a shower."

"'K." Rose replied.

Landon came back in the kitchen ten minutes later, dressed but still towel dying his hair. Rose was just putting the plates on the table and sat down. "I even found time to wash up." She smiled.

"I was thinking… maybe after breakfast I could head down the hospital. Alone. Only I really wanna see my dad."

"Yeah, sure. I've gotta go home anyway. Feed my cat."

Fifteen minutes later Rose was shrugging on her denim jacket. "I'll see you later then," she said, kissing him quickly on the cheek. She flicked the lock on the front door and stepped out. She headed to the stairs and Landon called "Bye!" then closed the door. He lent against it and decided to head out.

On the road there were loads of traffic and one car swerved in front of him going at least 30 miles per hour. Landon swore and pressed his horn angrily. "Geez!" he exclaimed.

He swung his car into the hospital car park and parked in his usual spot. When he was inside he greeted a few doctors and nurses and headed to the elevator. He stepped out and was nearly hit over by a male nurse who Landon did not know. He looked really pissed off at something


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Landon emerged an hour later from his dad's private room into the surprisingly empty corridor. He leaned back against the wall and whispered, "Jamie? I need you."

He looked up, feeling a presence, knowing it was her. But he couldn't see her. He only knew she was there. But he heard her voice in his head.

_Landon, it's alright._

_I'm sorry I betrayed you._ He thought.

_I don't blame you, it's a very hard time but you need to have faith that God will take care of your father._

_What, you mean let him die?_

_No, that God will heal him. But only if you believe this is not the end._

_And then what? What happens afterwards?_

_I can't tell you. Yet. _

_Why? _Landon asked desperately.

_All you need to know, Landon is that there are more things in this universe that can ever be imagined._

_You mean like Higher Powers?_

_Landon, I may be an angel but that doesn't mean I know everything about God and creation and the secrets of the universe. I have to go now, but I'll be back soon to help guide you but you mustn't get distracted again. But all I can tell you is that in the mean time you will find someone you least expect who you can turn to. To reveal everything that has happened and to be your friend._

_Who?_

_You will find out soon. Trust me._

_I trust you._

And her presence was gone, leaving only Landon and the empty corridor.

**I'm so sorry I didn't update for ages but I'll continue with this. My aim is to finish all my stories so not to leave everyone without an ending. But I need reviews to know people are reading and enjoying it otherwise I'm not as motivated.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Landon sighed and headed towards the elevator. He just turned the corner when he collided with someone who had been barrelling round the corner almost at a run.

Landon stumbled but regained his balance quickly. The person glanced at him to see if he was injured and started to head off again.

"Hey!" Landon said.

The guy turned back.

"Aren't you at least gonna apologise?"

The guy shrugged. "Sorry man." And turned again.

"Excuse me!" Landon called.

The guy stopped and snapped, "What?"

Landon blinked, surprised by the attitude. He looked more closely at the guy now he was still. He was older than Landon around 38, had soft, silky looking brown hair. He was wearing faded jeans with an open beige shirt over a blue t-shirt. He acted mean, but Landon figured he was probably harmless. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Gil," he said impatiently. "Why?"

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Landon asked.

"I'm the nurse who was in surgery with you a couple of days ago. And I helped your dad out the other day."

"You? But…why were you running round the corridor. This a hospital, not a race track."

"Well, duh." Gil said. "Have you ever tried balancing being a nurse and a single parent?"

"Um, no." Landon said. "I…" he searched for something to say. Somehow he knew he had to keep this guy talking; to _know_ him. To know each other. "I want to apologise for snapping the other day in surgery. You were a great help."

"Really?" Gil asked. "You think so?" For the first time in weeks, Gil's face broke into a smile.

"I do." Landon smiled back.

"Thank you. Doctor…?"

"Carter. But call me Landon."

"Thanks… Landon."

An idea struck Landon. "Hey, do you wanna go for a drink?"

"Ah, I can't." Gil said. "My daughter Sophie... she's not very well. And I've gotta pick her up from school."

"What's wrong with her?" Landon asked, growing concerned.

"She has leukaemia. And she's stopped responding to treatment."

"What?" Landon said, astounded. "How old is she?"

"16." Gil sighed. "She's too young… it can't be her time soon but she's weak…"

Landon's heart skipped a beat. This was too surreal.

**Thank you, to everyone who reviewed chapter 6, cos when people review it lets me know that people are reading and I'll see a point in updating. Please continue with the reviews, they really do make me post more! And I've thought of a storyline to go on which I'm hoping everyone will like!**


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